Breathing in the Spaces Between

Today the headlines focus on remembrances of September 11th. Tragedy. People argue about the significance but however you view it, it is a day of sadness. Deaths and the nature of human beings that allows us to take lives. On either side of us daily, we are confronted with tragedies of great scope of our own personal ones, and none are diminished by the quantity, the culture of the dead, or the weapon of destruction. A tragedy is a tragedy.

I also find the headlines that refer to the Indiana Jones Movie. It will be called Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull. 27 years later and Harrison Ford is still Indiana Jones. And the title is important enough to make the newswires. Another news article is about the Black Widow, a woman who won the lobster eating contest and now is entering the burrito contest. I suppose the present burrito champ might find this story to be the most fascinating-and perhaps disconcerting.

It is this dichotomy in life that I struggle with and yet also keeps me sustained. In a world that contains so much that is ugly (violence, hate, prejudice, war), there is also great beauty (humor, love, art).

I breathe in the spaces between the two.

I find myself wondering at my own mortality and choices that have brought me this far. And to what? A job where I make very little money. I look at my friends. Years ago, when we were all struggling, money seemed so unimportant. But now friends make six figures and a few have won awards. If I had stayed in my field, I most certainly would be reaping the rewards but no doubt the nagging of my soul would be reminding me that I was called elsewhere. In my present work, I get an opportunity to mentor young writers, meet spiritual leaders from many groups and lead workshops that focus. Still, I question. Without the usual marks of success, I succumb to doubt more than I wish. Success or failure?

I breathe in the spaces between the two.


I am a Quaker and a Christian. I have lived a life according to what I believe we are called to do in this world. I have mentored children, assisted senior citizens and lived for my morals in spite of material loss in my decision. I have won awards as an Up and Coming Christian Writer and been named a Sparkling Debut. Still, I have been told that because I work at a Holistic learning center such as Omega, where many faiths co-exist, that my work would be deemed “unacceptable.” While I anchor myself as a Quaker and a Christian, I find truth in the languages of other religions and faiths.

I breathe in the spaces between




I look back at one the places I worked for many years. I gave, or felt like I gave, so much time and energy to programs for children in which they could experience the power of the outdoors. I spent long hours counseling homesick children, mentoring staff and collaborating with teachers. I
experienced many personal challenges in order to maintain my integrity. I left when I felt called to pursue my religious roots. 3 year later it closed. The key components of the place live in the souls of those who understood. The strong idealism of my youth is now balanced by a practical faith of a more experienced life.

I breathe in the spaces between


Several years ago I took part in the trapeze activity at Omega Institute. Three tries were what we were given-two to practice with and a third to complete the catch. My first try was fine. I was a bit fatigued from the use of odd muscles as I attempted the second. My second catch was a realization of my morning affirmation to release. I was afraid that I would not let go of the trapeze with my legs and when I was caught I would be stuck in between. On my second attempt I dropped like an arrow and so rapidly that the trapeze man said, “Wow, he has no problem letting go.” I wasn’t sure I’d attempt a third try.

On my third try, I focused on my vision of catching the trapeze and being caught. I could hear the sounds, the commands, and my fears surrounding me, but they were no more than slight breezes. I made the catch easily. It was smooth and easy.


I travel the light between the darkness as I fly. I hear the calls of fear, illusion, temptation –they are either sirens of my destruction or rocks that let me know how to steer my craft in the water. I am encouraged by the humor and beauty, but they are also guides, not the vision or destination. I am surrounded by the noise of the world and I am learning to walk in the silence. I focus on love even though there is great ugliness and beauty all around me.

I breathe in the spaces between.